dilly dally ::

come to think, i didn't exactly had a fabulous start on my 21st. hahaha.. growing up ain't easy indeed.

its started with
1. insecurities
2. debts (emotional, sleep, monetary etc)
3. aimlessness
4. a lot of hacks and computer viruses
5. unhappiness and pmsiness
6. a lot of "if"s

well, its the beginning of "life" isn't it? hur hur.

its a horrid day ::

great start today considering i seldom wake up so early. man, i was to have tuition at 830. how unearthly. anyway off i went for tuition. then afterwhich rushed to woodlands for a briefing cos im helping out in some children programme next week.
instructor was like, erm, you have to ask the kids what they expect in secondary school life and what they look forward in secondary school. im like, hai, poor thing, they're going to be so disillusioned. oops.
then i went back home, trying to fax my company info kit to some new supplier and it just couldn't get through. been faxing for the last 3 days. im giving up. now the stupid fax machine sitting in front of me looks like a big ugly white elephant. hai. mom's right, its so ugly and expensive. shouldn't have bought it. thought i would be more productive with it. obviously, im like so wrong. again.
afterwhich, went for another round of tuition [doesn't it sound like mahjong to you? another round haha..]. was late, and was later late for class, missed 1 lesson. and i fell asleep in class. was really tired. that kinda spoilt my day and the weather is not helping too. it was in those whimisical mood - raining and stopping and raining and stopping and i gave up and use the umbrella my student's guardian lent me. ended up looking unglam. okay lah, wasn't really glam in the first place but you know not glam + umbrella + icky plastic bags = ven more unglam. hahha..
when i got home, mom made all sorts of acusations on me - for not shifting the table after plugging in the phone line cause i was testing my fax plus other vile little things which i think she's so going to compile into this little report and tell her sisters. hahaha.. she has 6 of them. not to mention all the grandaunts and probably my greatgrandma. i think if my greatgrandma has dementia, she'll forget everything except the things im supposed to do but did not do. thanks to my mom's constant drilling. im so amazed. why couldn't she speak properly. as in, put things nicely and she just had to scream. then dad looked very pissed.
now when dad's pissed. its not very nice, cos my dad's the best dad in the world. then i felt i would have like disappointed him again. anyway, its a whole chain reaction shit.
so its a horrid day after all. hahaa.. i had a very ugly nick in msn today and only 3 people gave a shit about me and out of which, weren't constructive at all. im relatively easy to please you know.
how i wish there's wushu today and din have to come back so early.

qualities you look for in a bf/gf ::

i always felt its unfair to do a 'requirement list'. you know like, erm, okay, he has to be
1. tall
2. dark
3. handsome
4. blah blah

but then again, i think its quite avoidable and in fact even biological that you'll do something like that, even mentally, cos its all in due course with Mother Nature - in something otherwise known as natural selection. :P broadly speaking that is. Let's say for instance, there're only 2 kinds of people on this planet. the exciting and boring. if the exciting cannot stand the boring, and the boring cannot stand themselves, so naturally, the boring people will die out. either that or exciting and boring people will die out because they're bored to death. hahaa. erm, okay. not funny. but anyway. yah.

so i had a list of 'don't wants' and 'wants' and its not exhaustive nor inflexible. which means, those items can be taken out anytime or appended to anytime.

Don't Want someone who (eeks!)

1. cannot make me laugh aka boring. (tough right?! haha)
   
2. was/is very happy that he's in phase C in NS? and devise all sorts of methods to siam NS.
   
3. is quiet and does not attempt to make conversation despite prompts. like that O levels Oral how to pass?
   
4. refuses to interact with my friends. wassup? they're all jun nan mei nu!
   
5. ignorant and arrogant. arrogant about being ignorant? huh?
   

Prefers someone who

1. tall, dark and handsome (when im in a bimbo state of mind) haha! :P. no lah, so far i only know 1 guy like that and he's almost taken. *humph*
   
2. is intelligent. not intellectual. there's a difference. being intelligent is so sexsay okay!
   
3. is confident and takes initiative. that's another desirable trait! i think when a person is confident, he'll probably be initiative. if he's insecure, he is likely to be reckless AND DESPERATE. waahhaaa.. okay okay.. im biased. its a tat old fashion, but then again, im never an advocate of extreme feminism. im on for NS if the country so desires.
   
4. can laugh at himself and make me laugh. but then again, the latter is a bit subjective. but i guess the overall objective is to make conversations a bit more bearable.
   
5. is passionate and focus about something, like programming, art, sport, music you know, something and is focused on it. now now, that's a very desirable trait. so sexsay hor?!
   

very hard to find meh? in fact, the guys i'd really liked before, only 2 look good enough and are tall to be models. :P anyway, these are nearly 'guidelines' doesn't mean you fulfil all these requirements, one has to like you, get what i mean. i like people in specs, but someone in specs liking me doesn't mean i'll have to like them. chemistry plays a part too! okay lah, not that im in the position to comment on, or judge who i like and what kinda requirements i like, just that the above is said in a light hearted manner and is a entry spun after a rather funny and interesting conversation with a friend.

anyway, if you're asking me what kinda guys do girls normally like, i think the above should it be as well. the first requirement is a joke lah. now laugh! unless you count those 'picky'/meticulous girls who prefer their bfs to pull the chair for them, sms them daily report of their diets and sleeping bio patterns, then its a whole total ball game together. that, it'll be wise to enrol in Shatec to learn the finer points of customer service and fine dining to win their hearts. ;) erm. jia you! ahhahaa..

apparently, lawyer after reading this, asked me if he fits the bill. after i told him he does, but he is however someone i'm not interested in, he OFFLINED on me. wassup brother?!! next time if you want to hear a lie, just tell me lah, then i can prepare sufficiently! hahhaa.. don't have to be so petty what! hahaha... :P

passion and down-to-earthiness ::

im always impressed with down to earthiness. today brought this friend of my friend for this audition/interview as promoter for handphones. my initial opinion of her was that, her recent foray into theatre was quite gimmicky. but after she told me about her theatre stuff, you know, i am duly impressed! not that im some theatre veteran, but you can see she's very much into it. okay, sounds a bit you know, exaggerated, but i thought i heard passion oozing from her. and seriously, girl, even though you dunno me, but i still would like to say this, you'll have my support!
the road to doing something you're passionate about, is never easy. especially, it doesn't come with your parents' validation, chop and it being something so-called unrealistic, doesn't earn much money until you have a certain reputation or economically not sound.
another person i like who is down to earth is none other than our stephanie sun!! she's been quoted a few times under the quotes section in newspaper and i really admire her for saying that. erm, i have forgotten what, but the sae is really good and quote meaningful. but then again, people might say stuff like, oh, she's already rich, you know. once you're rich, money talks, and no matter how unsincere you're, you can always sound sincere. but i guess.. if she doesn't have the passion and drive, she wouldn't have lasted and made this kinda money.
know another person who is like that, admire his ability to focus and refocus himself, set targets for himself and yet remain grounded, not get big headed.
seriously, if i think its me who has all these fame and fortune, i would have gotten a bit heady with power. hahahaa.. call me bimbo lah, but fame and fortune makes the world go round doesn't it? i could wind a snake around my neck and call it 'the accessory', splurge on jet planes and authentic, FRESH salmon don!! well well.
okay. then again, okay. i shall be GROUNDED. ROOTED to the ground and focus on things i ought to do!
*oush!*

random pieces of thoughts ::

going to eat fish and co later. yay!

been productive, which is good. did a few functions on my website. learnt a few stuff. hehe. got new plans for my website.

its been exactly a year since i'd started my blog. :) time to rethink and look back at what i've been doing and need to do.

whines : i want to go overseas and train. okay okay.. not train. i want to go on a holiday! hahahaa.. oh no, suddenly im high maintenance. hahaha..

i went to paint my nails that day. it wasn't planned. was walking in far east level one when this lady suddenly came up to me and gong-tao-nised me into doing my nails. in no time at all, im now typing away in my keyboard with pinky nails and white flowers. hahaha.. my virgin nails okay. never did anything to it before. okay lah, recently, i'd decided, its time for me to properly grow up. as in mentally and whatever other aspects you know. got this sms yesterday :

Did you know that you're an amazing person? Why? Your brain has 2 parts, the right part and the left. The left has nothing right in it and the right has nothing left in it.

old joke. but nonetheless, amusing. heh..

little black's CARDED!!! Praise God!! Im so proud of her!!! Finally, after all those difficulties man. All the injuries and shitty incidents. Okay. for the uninitiated, carded athlete means she'll represent SG for sports events and get allowance from Sports Council. In other words, she's in National Team!! yay!! *hugs* jia you little black! i'll support you! with toothbrush, my bed, my clothes, spirit, food, morally, immorally!! OOps. But be careful yah? don't get yourself injuried. *pats pats* jia you!!

will blog more when i get home. hehe. ta for now.

ballet under the clouds! ::

i went for ballet under the stars today. however, unfortunately, like the previous time i went, there were no stars to speak of, only clouds. Anyway, was quite thankful that it hadn't rain! :)

it was good. the ballerinas were really graceful! made me feel like learning ballet. and was thinking of how to combine them with wushu. woah.. it would be quite 'off' as yagong and jewel would put it. chin-chiongness and acristocracy. haha, some of the moves they execute really reminded me of how some of my shi xiongs jumping around, really effortlessly.

Really admire their stamina and strength. 3 rather long dances. when i look at how the 'art' was mastered. man, it really took a lot of hard work and effort. to me that is. cos my coach and shi xiongs were like always commenting on my posture that i should put more effort in standing straight and tall. and there they are, standing nice and straight for goodness knows how many years.. can imagine, their teacher prowling around with a cane and whacking them once they slack cos its really too tiring. well, then again, my coach said its a habit - you'll have to get use to it. then again, shouldn't be that bad for them i guess?

anyway, i like the last piece best. even though, i didn't understand the single bit of it. but i like the beat of the music and how they fuse thai elements into ballet. its like quite a contemporaily piece. the first one is good too, happy dance with bach music and some african tribal music. quite cool. the second one has got dreary bits. but overall was pretty good too. its some woman's journey before she died.

well, i guess, the best one i'd seen and remember is the one with the carmen music and the one with the wormy feel in the first BUTS i saw.

its quite nice, eating and appreciating arts. had a nuahey time. the marketplace's franks were pretty good. feels picnicky.

we went to cafe cartel after that. and THEY HAVE FREE FLOW BREAD!!!! yay!!!! *bounces up and down* its nice i think. no wonder that place is always crowded. hahaha... it'll be my next favourite hangout!

finally, real classes ::

i went for classes today and it made my day. okay, you must be thinking why im so into taking notes and exams. haha, no idea, but i get a certain high hearing a lecture. so nice to be able to absorb those information like a sponge. you can hire me to take notes for you if you want. 1 hr $5 cheap labour hor. now that's an offer. if you have intention to create legal relations and accept the offer just drop me an email. and well, that'll have to be subjected to my time table.

and babe's card arrived in the post today and that totally made me really happy for the while until i come home and open the stupid mail. so sweet of you babe!!! *hugs* its amazing that you remember despite your busy schedule!! *wide grin* love ya!

hai, but apparently, after receiving an email today totally spoilt it all. what "unforseen circumstances"? hai. im so tired of it all. before and after the project seriously. its one of those projects i wished i hadn't taken up and despite, was quite hoping, will not be brought to completion. sorry lah. but really. when it comes to project, im not anal about money you know and all that payment stuff. in fact, i don't care about money even. just look at the stupid advertising projects i did this beginning of the year. just that i refused to be treated like some mental bangala having to keep changing things to suit your fancy and having to change your errors. yes, i understand the part about having to change to suit user's needs and taste. but it'll be nicer if you can tell me you know, one off, then i can move on with other bits of the project and not micromanage other things.

you can say very nice things, cos after all, you know, you're older, have seen the world and perhaps eaten more salt than i eat rice. but i would prefer a person to be forthright with me and not patronize me.

well, looks like the school of hard knocks has a lot of things to learn. and im obviously not suited for pr work. haiz.

hai, this is another depressing entry. argh. i want to stop complaining about it just affects me quite a bit.

van accident ::

hai, some bugger idiot went to make a dent in my dad's car and didn't leave his name and number. dang. okay, i mean who would leave their name and pay damages? ethically speaking of course. argh! idiot. hope someone else sues you. my dad's such a nice guy and this had to happen to him. if you can't manage a car please refrain from using it.

my goodness, some more my dad's van is parked. hai..

:( am terribly grumpy over it. can't bear to see my dad so forlorn. asset becomes liability liaos.

im not here to preach prosperity. but sometimes, situations commands drastic measures. God, let us strike lottery! :P

fundamental problem in modern wushu? stop constipating!! ::

personally, im quite pissed while looking at this post at sgwutan.com.

i seriously don't see the problem. can't they realise wushu has since evolved into 2 forms. the cultural form and the sports form? by cultural i meant those really cultural practical, traditional type. sports ala those competitive routines.

anyway, not that we shouldn't preserve culture. but the very fact that if you like stunts and like to go for competitions, you should go for the sports form of wushu. and that is the form which is under the governace of china wushu arena. okay, not exactly sure how to go about addressing it. but you know, sports wushu = soon-to-be olympic standard.

if you want to be able to ko someone proper, by all means, go and learn the cultural wushu. don't come and muck around the forum and say there's a fundamental problem with modern wushu. there's no problem. the only problem is you're still too old fashion. wake up your idea, if you want to earn 1 million bucks for 2008 olympics, go and do the sports one. ko-ing someone might even land you in jail, and you can forget about even smelling 1 mil.

wushu itself is a very unique sport comprising of cultural and scientific aspects. yes its scientific. biomechanics, biophysics, biomedical etc. its judged based on how high you can jump, how flexible you are.. the international standards doesn't require you to ko people or crush a pot with 1 finger.

if you'd chosen to do the cultural form, good for you. you can help entertain people during mid autumn festival and lang sai during chinese new year. once in a while break a couple of bowls and help a few people obtain a cheap flight from SG to US. Or even, train those body building sportsman so that they can bulge extra muscles - qi. But i think there's no need to go around saying people who do the sports kind are merely "dancing". can you do a proper xuan zi 360? or even a ce kong zhuan ti? then can i say you're merely constipating while doing your ma pu?

different people admire different aspects of wushu. some for practicality sake, some for beauty. so let's just admire in our own respective groups. im putting it in defense of sports wushu cos i kept hearing the people practising traditional saying its "dancing" and personally, im for sports wushu than the usual traditional, mystical types. and that is the direction china wushu is heading towards and i can assure you, its definitely more interesting than seeing someone constipating in public.

politiking politics ::

was out with my 2 coaches yesterday. kinda disillusioned with the current situation in this particular association. apparantly, money was everything and whoever has money speaks the loudest. sadly, money doesn't equate management skills. and events in that association are rather biased and probably as messy as my bedroom. [yah, my bedroom IS messy. now now, don't start the crap about what im a girl and should keep the bedroom neat bs.] despite, you know, one shouldn't just listen to one side of the story. but like what they say, if none of such things happened, then no one should even be thinking/talking about it now. the fact is it probably happened and well, it happened to a group of them, so its quite undeniable. you get what i mean right?

it is interesting to see how a particular organisation had formed since the formation of our nation. and sad to learn that power can be bought and abused. its saddening to know that so many people eventually are stuck and used in the system. and despite, being a nation who values transparency and meritocracy, that association still have to comply with poor governace, unfair judging.

haha.. so ironic, with many people seeing different sides of it.

in case if you have no idea what it is about, then never mind ba. just my own ramblings. it is quite a harsh reality check for me. i need to get my act together.

plague ::

i realise there's always some remote connection trying to connect to my computer. my firewall prompts me everytime. man, this is so dangerous. i feel so protected with my ad-aware software, norton internet security. hahaa, maybe this is a false sense of security but you know.. at least its better than nothing. so people, remember to install firewall. very crucial.

do you know its easy to find out your email address? it can be programmed into the webpage you're visiting. besides that, i can find out your resolution, the type of browser you're using, your surfing habits, your operating system plus various stuff. so scary right? just imagine someone from dunno-where manages to know the exact time you visit that particular "illegal" website and worst still, sends you unsolicitated mails, install other spyware which actually reports to its own server where are your other favourite cyber hangouts.

cyber epidermics will be as dangerous as normal epidermics. you'll never know when a loss of information can result in a loss of life too. i.e stocks fall, companies fold, people go jump off the sheares bridge.

well well.. update your anti virus freqently yah?

just another day ::

allow me to blog some mundane stuff.

i cut my hair today! yay! hahaa.. actually i feel happy and sad at the same time. the last time i'd cut my hair was very long ago. wanted to dye my hair, but was quite short of funds. so didn't. anyway, my hair now feels lighter and more in shape. ^^v

did a bit of work today, managed to work out some details in the website. need to start earning money from it really soon. i need to be of use man. *sighs*

china trip i want!! ::

my juniors are going to china again. haha, im so envious. its always nice to go on holiday. that reminds me, china's traditional nationals are starting soon. in 16th oct.

its a beautiful place though, slightly unhygenic. bring an umbrella if you go to the toilet. cos the parapet is always very low and people can just peep in anytime! *argh* i almost freaked out when my female china wushu coach looked into my cubicle and casually asked me if im done. *argh freak freak!* okay, you can use the umbrella as some sorta door also. and for some public toilet, it can be a deterrent for people to squat near you. its good if you are assertive, some chinese can be quite rude, and jump queue. so you must tell them off. anyway, sometimes you might be too late, cos before you can say anything, they are already at the toilet bowl, with their bottoms removed and slamming the door in your face. i'd experienced it a few times. oh yah.. i can be quite 'hang' at times. i was partly stunned. i mean, they're really fast, the act of them rushing in and slamming the door in your face is around 2 seconds i think. ö

the food there, is fabulous. if you go to fuzhou, you must go and eat yonghe fishballs. they have franchises all over fuzhou. its nice. try the fish soup. heavenly. and its cheap too. 2rmb for 1 bowl. works out to be 0.4SGD. the supposedly authentic xiaolongbao in shanghai cheng huang miao isn't at all that nice. the skin's too thick. i like the one i ate in jimei, xiamen. soup oozing out of the bun. comes in 10s. goodness.. the veggies there are good too. fresh off the soil. very effective for inducing peristalsis. teehee.

if i have a chance, i would want to go to jiuzaigou in sichuan, xian, huangshan, ulaanbaataar. hahaa.. not sure if i'd spelt it correctly. haven't actually seen the place, but the name intrigues me. harbin, silk road, kunming - lijiang etc. goodness, and that's only china. haiz.. okay.. back to earning money first. haha..

karl marx ::

jewel told me about karl marx today. and no, he's not our mutual friend. he's this guy who formulate some theory on society and eventually his ideas on communism were kinda abused and thus you see these ideas being practised in certain countries.

quite cool. especially the part about how first we have anarchy, then feudalism, capitalism, later on after capitalism, communism. as in, all in that order. i want to read about him some day. soon i guess, maybe i go borrow it tomorrow.

jewel said he's quite screwed up there, but apparently, whatever he'd thought about, his theories, are all slowly becoming true. you get what i mean, not that its some kinda prediction, but he gave so much thought into thinking how the society will evolve, its all coming through. and he lived in the 1800s!

well.. goes the same for the bible. interesting isn't it.

okay, im thinking, i needed a holiday soon. i hope it comes true. haha..

Happy Birthday ya gong, lawyer, little black and koko!! ::

it'll be ya gong's birthday soon. on the 4th. 3rd's lawyer's birthday and 1st is koko's birthday. little black's birthday is on 22nd sept. and here goes..

Happy Birthday yagong, my bestest libran girlfriend *say with American twang*!! Thanks for the peals of roll-on-the-floor laughter, nuahey moments, other idiosyncrasies you'd brought into my life. Thank you for your non commital moments and siao on moments. hahaha.. despite all the mis timings, i still love that aspect of you.
Thank you for brightly offering me to teach me how to put make up! Haha, we still have to work on that! Thank you for teaching me how to save, how to reject people [as in how to say no to functions]. Thank you for editing my sec 3 and 4 compos, talking during mrs selvadurai's lessons and crossing her out everytime she comes into the class. Thank you for tolerating my tall ambitions and idiosyncrasies.
Thank you for sharing that you like Daniel Chan with me. Don't be embarrassed! i tell you i like nic tse in sec 4 also! hahaha. :P
i pray that God will eventually send you someone with a metal broom to sweep you off your feet and of course, you like and love and he vice versa very soon. ;) i pray that you'll be richly blessed with straight As and fantastic social life and of course, with all those hectic schedules good health and vibrant energy to last you through. i also pray that you'll find a peaceful mind and enjoy quiet time when you need it. i pray you'll live a meaningful life full of happy returns you want.
Happy Birthday!

Woah, Happy Birthday Lawyer! *grin* Thank you lawyer, for being there when my dad's in the hospital. been wanting to tell you that, but never had the chance. Thank you for being such a sincere friend, your once-in-a-while-how-are-you email, your spotaneous treats.
Really, i'd really appreciated them. Thank you for your dry humour and in-your-face opinions and prep talks. You know i needed those. THAT is what a true friend is for. To reflect all your faults and strengths. :~) [that's tears of joy silly, not pi sai] thank you for pretending to be amused at my idiosyncrasies.
i pray you'll have a swell wonderful year ahead man, and that you'll be well on your way to a flashy car - a sport audi [if that's the car you still want. hahaa], bevy of ladies around you, cash raining on you wherever you go and still date those ladies whose receiving huge amount of alimonies from their tycoon husbands. erm. hahaha.. just kidding lah. yah.. have a great happy casanovic year ahead and may your readings be done in a flash and nothing lesser than an A- in your results. Have fun my friend. infect the rest with your motivation yah?
Thank you and happy 22nd birthday. ;)

heya little black, Happy Birthday! hope all your birthday wishes come true yah? thank you for bringing joy into my going-to-be-adult life. so sian, going to be da ren. thank you for teaching me how to be resilient. thank you for sharing with me some of your problems. jia you. i'll support you as much as i can. emotionally, physically, psychologically, my bed, my computer, toothbrush whatever i can.
i pray you'll find comfort in God, in your friends and family. i pray you'll have an exciting time in sanda and wushu. Girl, you're good. realise that potential. Happy belated birthday. =)

Here's to koko, the "undisputed maggie mee killer on ***** reservoir".
Thank you for your down-to-earthiness which i find really inspiring and being my talk cock friend. Thank you for being crappy with me. its really funny no matter how mundane. hur hur.. :) your dedication to the sport itself is really inspiring as well. may you bring more gold back to sg in due course and remember to grin your dimples to death. i pray you'll find your jun jy heon soon and stop sending me pictures of her. i would rather you send me pictures of won bin. wahhaa or zhang dong jian. eh, anyway, i digress. Happy Birthday. Really. ;)

*party music trails..*

publishing problems ::

i seemed to be having problems republishing my blog recently. either there were errors recorded or it'll take ages to republish. hm, wonder if its a server error, network error or just my fault since i'd tried to change the codings. well well, occupation sickness since im major in it [as in IT it] and had to troubleshoot computer errors.

whatever it is, just to inform you guys. in case you think i'd disappeared in thin air or something. teehee.. erm, okay. not funny i know. :P