hazy, foggy week ::

this week's been a blur, was so busy with work and tired after work that I hadn't any time to do any other things unless its sleeping and eating. BUT, the uberture event is confirmed! :D Here to CRAVE '03. Be there or be square! Hahaha... okay lah..Im cheesy.. :P Its party all night till the next day you know. Tix come with one FREE drink. We have quite some of sponsors, so you can probably bring home a shiny new handphone, Debit Cards, hairstyling vouchers plus many many more and of course, an alcohol induced mind. BUT, the catch is.. the catch is you've got to be 18 and above. I suppose people reading this blog are 18 and above right? ahhaa, so see you there!! If the prizes don't attract you then okay okay..there're PRETTY girls galore!!! 5 prom queens from various JCs and other models and not forgetting our dearest yagong - who will be there to sell at the door tickets. Okay.. Now Im convinced sex sells. Argh!

Okay, now I want to bitch about my brother! Goodness, he lied to me! Saying that he's papers were finished and he wants to use the net. So I happily obliged, since you know, you ought to have a break after studying so hard for your papers.. which apparently he didn't? Anyway, I still let him play, till dunno what time in the wee hours. And the next morning, he rushed off for his chemistry paper? CHEMISTRY PAPER?!Woah, now Im convinced he'll do badly and he doesn't give a SHIT. Fine, Im trying to be concerned about his progress in studying, even offered to go to school and ask for the extension of time for his art project and to nip his bitchy teacher in the bud and expose her laziness to the principal, and he care naught for his O levels?! Studying refers to everyday flipping the textbook with one hand and the other hand busy msging his girlfriend and playing pool DURING the studying period. Are you nuts? We are paying $400 plus plus for this blardy exams and you want to fail? Even if you don't fail... and aggregate of 23 L1R4 doesn't get you anywhere you know. Not even a course you so desire in poly. Wake up your idea! Even I, with no whatsoever discipline made sure I stayed reasonably focused! Haha, Im not going to care already. 2nd lesson learnt this year. I should have learnt the last lesson. Sentosa incident + some other family member. Shan't elaborate. F**Ks and spoons!

Anyway, yes. 400 bucks meant a whole lot to my family. And I honestly felt that you should be able to get your money worth whichever way you spend it. The key word should be INVEST. Not spend. That's why I don't scrimp on certain things. If you like it to be boiled down financially, yes, I invest in friendship. I invest my time and sometimes money on friendships. Time is money, so the equation should still be, I invest money in friendships. Having to teach 6 students to cover school fees whilst studying full time is not a joke. I can't help being money minded, not that I may appear to be so. But having money just makes things easier sometimes. Whatever.

bintan, running children and keropok ::

think I had an unhealthy obession with food now. Im like almost perpetually eating and eating more and more.. Anyway, I had wantan mee and beehoon this afternoon for lunch and dinner, I had a plate of rice with curry fishhead and chicken rice! And I have to have my 2 curry puffs when Im in the office. Oh no.. Doesn't sound that good.

Anyway, YEAY! IM BACK! Hahaa...feels so good to be back in SG. I wonder how I'll feel if Im really going away for a long time. I think not only that I'll miss my family and friends, but I'll also miss the green dustbins in SG, the east coast beach, the bustle early in the morning of my neighbourhood's market, the mrt.. Haiz..

Mission trip was more luxurious than I'd expected. Stayed in this hotel with nice furnishings, hot water, minus bed bugs. We don't even have to bath in the river! Which I was half expecting. Good good. We had to travel to this village called Madung up north 45 mins ride away from Tg Pinang to teach toddlers ABCs. Had to prepare materials for them to colour and think of games for them to play and to reinforce what they'd learnt the night before. Taught them 1 to 10 in English and shapes like triangle, circle and square. The children were extremely enthusiastic about what they are learning. Despite being quite shy when we first met them on Saturday, they opened up to us more and tried to talk to us. But unfortunately, I didn't know enough Bahasa Indonesia to understand them, else I guess I would have enjoyed myself more.

The children were so cute, with toothy grins and all! But most of them were really small in size. Heard from Ben [who was a doctor from our team] that they were probably malnourished and thus look like 5 year olds despite being 10 year olds. They were quite hyperactive, always running round the whole place. Either that or Im old now. :P I thought I'd enough sleep the night before, but my energy levels were not high enough to keep up with them. Argh..

The village was quite polluted and had malaria problems. Heard the water they use is rusty and slightly muddy. Yes, water for cooking and bathing. Rubbish were strewn everywhere and anywhere they fancy. The children were quite dirty and muddy looking too. I was quite upset with myself, not wanting to carry them or hug them. Thought I should you know. But I couldn't overcome the 'dirty' factor. I did pat them and hold and shook their hands though, tried to stay as close to them as possible, ignoring my own eh.. protest? Had to pray pretty hard to ask God to let me enjoy myself. Initially I thought I would be able to take it, however, I think I can take dirt from nature i.e soil and stuff rather than 'man-made' dirt.

Had a prayer walk plus tour around the village. This prayer walk thing is quite a new concept to me. You actually pray like you're talking to your friends while walking around the place so that the locals would not take offence. In the midst of that, I chased a couple of chickens! Heh. Erm.. okay. I was never that mature in any sense. But I was very happy and amused touring the place. The village chief invited us for a bit of tea at his house despite them puasa-ing. Very grateful about it, cos weather was quite unbearable and I'd finished my water.

Brought back some local products! Tapioca in chilli paste and banana chips! Muahahha!!! [Food again! -.-'] Comes in big packets! That's what I like about it! Titbits! In big packs! Can eat for a long time! And cheap! *euphoric now*

Saw a lot of children begging and some adults as well. Felt extremely sad when I saw this lady with a baby who had a hydrocephalus [i think, Claire, Ben's wife, also a doctor told me it might be something else too, but whatever it is, its fatal] condition. Remember Ben Peacock from "Red Sky in the morning" Our sec 2 literature book? Yah.. I had only felt sorry initially, but upon hearing that the mother herself had refused to accept treatment for her baby possibly because she wants to use her son as a begging prop, I felt a twang of pity then disgust. How could she let her own son suffer like that? It was indeed a sobering outlook of life of survival. Then this little boy was following me around trying to get some money out from me. But my cell group mate told me not to "spoil the market". So I didn't give. I think even if I did, I couldn't solve the root of the problem - Poverty. Oh man, Im like this spoilt little brat back here. Haiz..

Realise being a doctor allows easy access into a person's home and heart. Ben and Claire shared a lot about the heartbeat of being a doctor. Ben visited this lady 47, suffering from breast cancer, he shared with us the lady's suffering and how he'd proposed to the local doctor to bring in oestrogen and morphine to lessen her pain. Apparently she was in constant pain and couldn't lie flat on the bed. And the cancer had spreaded from her breast to her arm. So she's probably at the last stage of her illness. Its sad to hear about all this, especially if you can't do anything about it. Feeling quite helpless. humph. Hope God will do something about it and that she gets better after taking oestrogen. :'(

It was overall a inspiring experience, its always interesting to gain a few new perspectives and increase my knowledge on medical and social issues and I'd enjoyed talking to people like my CGL, Ben and Claire. :]

when gifted students die ::

recently a gifted student died of a rare cancer and the news of his death was splattered all over the newspaper. I think its being overhyped, simply due to the fact that he's a scholar with straight As all his life and is a talented artist. I felt very sorry that he died. But was appalled at our own society's perspective on education. If the articles were to highlight to us about the rare cancer types, then I think it will be much more useful than "exploiting" the student's death. If the news is on a political figure, or someone who'd contributed much more to the society, i.e Dr Alex Chao. Then it will be more newsworthy. Not simply because of his stellar results. By the way, so many people in SG has got straight As all their life. And so many people in SG died of cancer each day, why don't they interview them too? My dad said because he was special. Yes, he is a special person and the only son. Im sure he'll have a special place in the hearts of poeple who knows him. But he's only a student who has died of cancer. Im sure he's friends will grieve, even I felt sorry each time on hearing a death. But I strongly felt that there's no need to highlight his results. Because his O level results, A level results served no one but himself and maybe his parent's face value.

On a lighter note. Haha, Bernardosan, next time you don't have to open doors for me when we go out. Not that Im ultra feministic, but I prefer to open my own doors. :) Anyway, you're quite right about girls expecting doors to be opened for them. I have a friend who expects her date to pull chairs for them. I think for practicality sake, just sit down and eat your dinner lah.

Anyway, I'll be away in Bintan for the weekend!! Mission Trip! :) Have fun meanwhile people!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE! Enjoy yourself in US yah? heh... Just want to tell you that I still love ya despite our differences in opinions! :D

dad and my mouse ::

taught my dad how to use the computer just now. Am really glad that he was curious about it. Then he will know why we are so addicted to the net. *evil grin* Taught him how to shut down the PC, surf chinese websites and use the mouse.

Think what my previous boss told me about my parent's generation being afraid of the computers is very true. We are of the information age, so we pick up new technologies very fast. However, computer probably first appeared during my parent's generation and it evolved so fast from the MS DOS era to Windows XP that they will think that computers are ever changing drastically. Seriously, the change between command based MS DOS to Graphical User Interface Windows is really a big difference. If I were to be of their generation, I'll feel threatened by a computer's presence. So Im like very proud of my dad..who had single handedly clicked on some hyperlink on www.zaobao.com.sg. Hurray!

babe's upset about her bf. I think they have some sorta communication break down which i think is quite sad. cos communication is the crux of all types of relationships. *pats pats* Don't worry! I still love you! Forget about guys... let them sink since they are so dense. Wahahhaa.... oops. :P heh.

my boss and my fried colleague ::

my colleague got fried today. Goodness, I was quite shocked to see her tearing after the supervisory colleague left the office. I thought the latter scolded the former or something. But it turned out that my boss has dismissed her. I was at quite a loss. Didn't know what to say or how to comfort her. But thank God for my butch-like colleague, she intercepted our conversation and left me with no chance to talk to her again. Erm, not that I didn't want to talk to her, but I really didn't know what to say. Afraid that I might say the wrong things and aggravate the situation. :P But there was quite a lot of tension and later on.. resignation. Eh, no pun intended. She said other staff complained about her, on things she totally had no idea on. i.e she's working on airfares and they asked her about packages and she didn't know how to answer so she said she didn't know. Then lady boss complained that she had collected her pay from her while talking on the phone, which was deemed rude. Some of my other colleagues didn't like the way she defines her job scope - wouldn't do things which were supposedly out of her job scope. I thought her a naive interesting character because she was so keen on joining her bf in France for further studies and she's not afraid of sprouting profanities and smoking like a chimney. We sometimes shared jokes and lunch. It was indeed sad to see her go despite we shared totally different personality and ideals. And Im sure she's feeling very angry and bitter because she felt unfair that the boss would fired her simply because of a few complaints which probably were not her fault.

But during the evening, when everyone else had went home. My boss popped by to explain his circumstances . He said he had asked her to go simply because she could not co-operate well enough with existing staff and thus could not make a good team. He'd termed it as a personality mismatch and was giving me an analogy of a girl dating a guy and then found each other unsuitable. Then he was like, let's say you refused the guy a second date, then that guy threw a tantrum and said stuff like, I borrowed money to date you blah blah..suddenly ITS like ITS MY FAULT that that guy had to borrow money to go out with me. Man..I so totally agree with him on that scenerio, like I owe him a living or something. Haha.. Wait arh, I digress a bit.

There's this time, this guy approached me on the mrt and asked me for my number. Being nice and so as not to embarrass him, I gave him my number. Well, on extremely superficial sense, since he wanted to be friends then let's just stay that way. Nothing wrong giving a friend my hp number. Later in the day, he called and asked me out for dinner. But seriously, it was a busy week, so I couldn't oblige. Anyway, I couldn't be bothered much too, cos I would be happy to talk to him via email or something than face to face cos my time would be better spent on my dearest friends or watch a movie alone. AND he said I shouldn't have given him my number and thus led him on. AND he said I was EASY?! He's GOT THE NERVE! Being NICE can give you such adverse reactions!!! I shall be a meanie next time and act dao. F**K and spoons! He's lucky that I was a bit gong gong that day, due to lack of sleep, else, he would have gotten a smack on his face from me. On his BIG FAT BUNDLE OF GROOVELESS NEURONS no less.

BLARDY F**K + other cutlery! I earn more than you okay! IDIOT! Insult me one more time and I'll tell everyone that you have pimples and speech problem and ego for brains. Ooops.

Okay, enough of that imbecile, back to my boss. Yah, I don't know how to feel. Objectively speaking, both poeple are like correct leh. Anyway, work was so busy today that I didn't have much time to think about anything. But I think my work is quite enjoyable. It was as stresseful as my internship days, having to worry about deadlines and seeing all the codes swimming in my head.

Anyway, a new batch of IO students had arrived today. One of them thought I was one of them, cos I was wearing the school jacket. :P And he remarked that I looked like year 1. Oh no. Wang Laoshi commented that I looked like a 17yr old today too. She was quite surprised that the first digit of my age is a 2 already. Okay lah, shan't be anal about it. hahaa.. Im happy to be perceived as someone younger! HAhaa..after all they say a girl's age shouldn't be revealed you know. *smirk* heh.. Always good to look younger than current age. heh! *broad grin*

Today will be the first and last lesson with the China coaches. So sad..they are leavng soon. SHall miss them. Training with them is definitely different from training without them. You get this, Big brother is watching kinda atmosphere and you really really wouldn't want to disappoint them. And they can really teach you properly, give you more specific pointers and stuff. Hope i'll get a chance to train with them again! Bon voyage!

Lousy Gou bought me my birthday prezzie that day. I was overjoyed. It was like woah.. really liked it and everyone else I know said it was in good taste. Haha.. Good for me, a friend with not much fashion sense, in my favourite colour too! Really very thankful and happy!! Thannks Lousy Gou! Really appreciate it! *lalalala*

IE and netscape ::

I realise my blog doesn't display well with IE. But its alrighty with netscape.
sheesh.

*yawns* ::

its another tiring weekend.
Will blog more about it after the China teachers left. The performance, especially the wushu parts were really exhilarating! Right jewel? heh. Those who weren't there. Haha.. erm, too bad. *shrugs* Wait for next year's performance then.. haha.

ugly fashion ::

"Fashion is so ugly that we have to change it twice a year" -someone

slow sales ::

tickets for the wushu performance has been slow... So sad. Its a GOOD event! Its like 5th Nov now. Think the wushu exponents from china will be here in a short while, while our country's top wushu sportsmen are in Macau now for World Championships.

Haha, Jiaming, Jennae and FellowNuahster, you all jia you yah?!~ And FellowNuahster you must come back with all the gossip hor~ Haha..

Email me for performance tickets!

[Bernardosan] bring your camera!!

you slacker!! ::

its been a slacky day or so I felt. Didn't like this. But get more in tune with my job. *whacks myself* humph... *grumbles*

so many people got the flu bug recently. Yagong, lousy goutie.. Take care yah? *pats past* And SARS looks like its coming back. Didn't get favourable information from China, from PRC friends I know, if you know what I mean? So, best go somewhere else.

wow manhattan I want you not!!! ::

HAhaa, just visited this wowmanhattan.com. Man I can't help it. Their ads are simply too intriguing!! Its overall a fantastic card!! And I DON"T WANT IT! okay. Im in line with their ads. Haha.. Man... So much goodies. And you have to be above 21 and under a certain age, earning $45k a year. That works out to be like 3750 a month~! *looks at my paycheck* :( Never mind. Must be focus! Stay grounded! Think long term. A debit card will already do a good job of buying things online. Heh. *contented*

goldfish status quo ::

okay. Even though I think not many people are interested in my goldfishes..or rather my brother's goldfishes. Just want to say something bout them. I think one of it looks really constipated. Yes. Its that small and bloated one. Feel like squeezing it to help it move its bowels cos its shit is like stuck to its anus. heh.. But cannot lah, think it will die. :P

netscape home ::

think netscape home page always have something interesting and sometimes even provoking. Its worth a visit. Anyway, I chanced upon this! Lessons on taking digital shots, overcoming shyness, essential programming etc Go go..

Work was quite nuahed today. Had quite a lot of meetings. Think I got to schedule and prioritise properly what I had to do everyday so that I won't get lost went going to work. Learnt a few marketing strategies from boss! Its really exciting to go into it cos we get to **** ******* ** ***** ******. ***** **** ** ** * ****, so as to gain experience. In any case if you can't see the wording above, rest assured that there's nothing wrong with your computer. Just that erm, the information is confidential. Hahaha...so you on't get to see them..Only for my own blogging pleasure. Ha! :P

what do you think? ::

woah I think Im getting lazier and lazier..
or blogging is like.. no longer interesting? I hope not.. Didn't want myself to have that 3 minute interest habit. No good. *shakes head*

I need to brush up my writing skills. Or rather type in proper language skills if you get what I mean. Im like so sanguine [persona wise] that my thoughts are all running all over the place and not organized in some chronological order and Im getting increasingly distracted when people talk to me. Focus focus.. Anyway, would like to write fluently like I used to in sec school periods. Im like quite dysfunctional now. :P Oww..

Anyway, I think Im a stoner. Not a clubber. I have no idea why, if I go up to the dance floor and dance, Iill have this strong urge to suddenly stop and look at the people around me dancing madly and be attempted to ask them what are they doing here. How productive they are and stuff. Okay lah, also dunno what's wrong with me but I really have this very strong urge to do it. Maybe because Im not under the influence of alcohol. But anyway, alcohol doesn't really appeal to me too. How many cups will make you tipsy? I drank eh... 1/3? hahaa. But I got quite high on the pepsi though. Its really erm, the energy cola. haha...yeay.. Okay, back to the stoner bit, I think the louder the music is...the more stoned I am. Though once in a while I'll groove a bit, but not enough to make me dance. Think social dancing or more structured dancing will be suitable for me rather than traffic signalling or DYO (Dance your own). Appreciates it more. heh.

So cell brought along 2 of his friends. And woah..they look really good loh, pixie faced + good figures + easy to talk to. Considering one to be our mag's model. heh. UberPublicityGuy also thinks the same. Lucky cell. heh. But really sorry that they'll have to be stuck with our table while we check out Lola. Tried to get the Pepsi manager to get them into Lola as well, but he came slightly too late and one of the girls got her resident DJ friend to bring them into Lola. Oh well. Hope they had a great time, coa Lola was like really much nicer.

Didn't go to church today, was feeling guilty until my CG leader smsed me. Hai.. She really puts effort in contacting me and stuff.. I really appreciates it and sometimes am afraid to let her down. :'( I must not be complacent. God, talk to me okay!!

Packed my notes for my tuition kid today. Okay, he's not a kid. Like 3 years younger than me only? Haha, Sorry guy, I'd really got to give you tonnes of homework. Erm, you need more practice.

Met up with jewel to dinner and study with her. She studies, while I nuahed and entertain myself by doing all the stretches and reading advertisements and posters from the NUS board. Went to Cheese prata shop twice to eat. She was like telling me what she'd learnt and me trying to make socialogy talk and then, we were on her favourite topic - Gender Issues.Got on to how pregnant woman when stressed may produced gay babies. Citing a lack of testerones in pregnant ladies bodies may caused the male babies to be deprived of it and thus resulting in a same gender sexual orientation when grown up. I wonder how true it is..then She told me that there's another study on homosexual guys given testerones hormones injection to see if low levels of testerones in a guy will make him more interested in his gender. But turns out that it will only make them even more horny towards the same gender. Hmm..

Then we had this interesting proposition on How you can only like someone physically. And Love is never emotional or intellectual. For example, if we are just a intellectual being with no physical bodies. Then erm, virtually, you can talk to anyone in the world. So let's say you fall in love with another intellectual being because of his intelligence, thoughts and stuff. But then later on we are randomly assigned a gender. And if both our gender happen to be of the same kind. And let's assume that we are straight, then that means we cannot like each other like we like each other before right? And thus, we will not like each other already simply because we share the similar body attributes. And therefore, can I conclude that loving/liking someone is physical and not emotional/intellectual? Cos we are "wired" [like what noddy say] to be thus? Hmm.. Something to ponder on.

There's an interesting phenomenon on the mrt. Been wanting to blog this for a long time. Hahaa.. People are always facing the side of the mrt where the door will open.

PepSi Cola One, Two, Three! ::

Centro is nice, BUT! Lola is nicer!!
Like the atmosphere, like the music. Its the second time I've been there. And for both times, I 'd been there only for a short while. But *sighS*...its like so loungey and nuahable with danceable tunes... My type of place. :P

Went there for the new pepsi energy cola. The new pepsi design is black and looks matric-like. Even though, Im not a pepsi fan, but I must say, this time Im quite bought over. It tastes much better too! I mean than the original pepsi which is ultra sweet. UberPublicityGuy knew the manager doing this publicity launch. The manager Cecil is this really nice guy who would not hesitate to bring you go see see look look round the place..even though he knows that ahhaa, Lola is out of bounds to young girls like me who is like still below 21 and UberPublicityGuy and friend who are both underaged as well. We got VIP treatment! Haha, talk about pulling strings. It can really get to you places..In my case, it got me into lola again! Yay!