a straight line ::

contrary to what i'd just told ya-gong. everything is turning for the better!
thanks so proper planning and self control. :P

finances wise, relationship wise, work wise.. yay..

will blog more!

passive income ::

i know the secret to passive income now.












sit in office and do nothing.. you'll get passive income.. :P

update update... *crescendo*

its june! olready!

just thought i'll drop a note in my blog to show that im alive!

lots of things happened.

1) i moved out of house.
2) i got a new job

well well..

move it baby!

the best that you can -beep- ::

i generally believe that if you set your heart to do something, when you do your best, your results will be well.. good.

however, things don't seemed to turn out as good as i hope to be and when i put a lot of effort to get things done.

something is just lacking and i can't quite put the finger to it.

is it just because im too nice to the clients? allowing them to view any units they want? or just the ones which were refined already? qualified houses which i think they'll like. but then again, i wouldn't know what kind of houses my french tenant likes, i'd showed him all the houses with character.. balinese style he finds it creepy, caribbean he thinks its low quality? (!), balmoral.. not far away from city. Strata.. view too ugly. blah blah.. and not forgetting other blah units we'd seen. *tears hair*

gosh.. i tried explaining to him that there weren't any perfect house, there had to be some kind of trade off. but well.. i think what i say just floats pass him nonchalently like some space debris floating pass you when you're in space.. okay. bad analogy.

my bf today told me i talk too much and listen too little. i admit. but honestly, im quite afraid of having a "cold audience" i.e cannot interact with my clients. the balance is just too delicate. im afraid i might break the scale.

i don't know, it just dawned upon me that its either my job is not suitable for me or i should just take up the challenge and change for the better. of course, i would love to do the latter! but its just not working out.. why the same mistakes over and over again? over and over again despite being so conscious of them.

okay, i'd changed my manner of speech. its just that i cannot say things in a round about way. well.. its tough to have to say in a round about manner without having to offend the client? then in the end, i'll end up being loh so... long winded. -.-'' how how? shall i go get a book on how to communicate EFFECTIVELY?

i want to have that kind of confident face you see on the TV drama serials you know.. those tv drama serials they show the actors and actress doing damn well in their jobs.. the "comrades" face! like can take on the world kind. hahahaha.. but sadly.. mi boh sae~ one. :'(

anyway, today's viewing with my US tenants were somewhat a disaster.. i just felt that they're a little tired of me leading the "wrong way" sort of. yes, despite being reputed as somewhat a GPS. but heck, i know the directions.. not the shortest route. i don't leave the job to the taxi uncle for nothing. but then again, i should have checked the route properly before leaving for viewing. :( ARGH!.

im just terribly shagged out. heng, i managed to get some stuff done today. i.e faxed bank documents, talked to an owner on renting and selling his place.

anyway, i just need to work on being professional.
1) dress sharply
2) bring less things, so i look good. :)
3) learn how to put make up
4) learn how to listen and talk when appropriate
5) learn how to speak properly..
6) learn how to calm down
7) qualify my clients and learn how to pacify them
8) prepare my clients and find out how they work. i.e do homework accurately.

what have yous...

tired.. and stressed.. someone, buy/rent a house damnit.

two ninth ::

today is a semi bad day, complete with several ulcers(bad), itchy warty legs(bad), no deal(bad), realisation of flaws (bad), salmon don & chawanmushi-which-almost-didn't-materialise (half good half bad), raining and its damn cold(bad), broke (bad), hang out with friends(good), didn't meet some friends(bad).

hey. its not even semi. its 2/9 of a good day only.

grow up! *smack*


-edited-
oh, i played with some shihtzu-poodles today. hahaa.. so cute. okay.. that's good. ;)

what's me? ::

i just had a talk with a mentor. and it made me wonder what's it with me? its not my issue with my boss or friends or whoever.

i think inherently, there's something which is totally haywired in my brain.
1) i think i can't think properly. hahha, even thinking about not being about to think properly. there MUST be something right?
2)i get distracted very easily, i noticed that when talking to a lot of people. both in minor issues and big. my thoughts just float away and i lost them.
3)i think i always had a fear of people in authority. not people in authority uniform.. but rather, perhaps in my case, owners and buyers, and older managers/fierce people.
4) always feel apologetic for no reason. and always say things in a very "roundabout manner" of fear of upsetting people.
5) always think people are upset with me or easily offended.
6) i know what works and what doesn't. but i always ended updoing what doesn't work? i.e procastinating?
On a side note, i wonder why do i always do that? is it that i so sorely lack motivation that i couldn't just bring myself to wake up early. what's preventing me from performing at my optimum best?
well, would NLP work for me? or that permission based tapping? *tap tap*
7)why am i always not serious? that brings us back to no. 5 right?
8)sometimes thinking people whom you spoke to is all nice and flurry now and the moment you walk away, you'll be judged by them, badmouthed and sneered at.
9) now that i relook my life, i think my opinions in a way are so easily swayed. a few days ago, a friend was practising ziwei doushu with my birthdates. she said my "palaces" were blank.. and she mentioned that my brain is qite blank.. im a airhead. gosh. that's the most insulting thing which ever happened to me! all my life i worked and acquired knowledge and i absolutely believe knowledge is power. and she actually said that.. and i rethink..oh perhaps its quite true.
and oh.. now that i think its quite true.. that brings me back to what my mentor has said.. he said i don't have an opinion, a stand of my own.

erm, well.can't i be easy going? i know im pretty stubborn about a few things ironically speaking. taking a utilitarian view sometimes takes a toll on me now. there's a part of me who wants to be selfish, ruthless, sharp and courageous enough to say no. hm. and there's another part of me who just wants to be nice and assertive enough. and there's another part of me just want to ignore everything. perhaps, that part of me had died in my dreamland. because i'd tried and its just not working. people not respecting you, being mean to you, taking advantage of you. i'm tired. lah.

maybe for all i know, what i went through is just all within my imagination. perhaps people are just not so bad.

oh well, on the way home, i was thinking, im actually pissed and angry with myself for allowing people to actually say such a thing to me even though i jolly well know these are my apparent flaws. i really hope i can be not like that.. you know. but i don't know how. its so easy to say. maybe a life coach can come round and guide me.

i know i wasn't like that younger. but heck, do i really need someone to teach me how to live life.. so that i won't be an obstacle to people? gosh.. what do i know right?

this is just not making sense.

in mud ::

you know, for a while in my short life, i was ever addicted to mud - multi-user dimension. that's when i was busy reading terry brooks and his fantasy world of might and magic.

yah.. then i'll be busying equiping my character with the latest armour and learning the magic spells, yes, im big on mages, leveling my character.

anyway, what i want to say is, my vocabulary increased. all the "punches", "maimed", "annihilate"(!).

i felt pretty much "maimed". maimed by work.