inklings of the dead matter, does it matter? ::

tis been a pretty black week.

my friend's dad passed away of cancer and yesterday, i saw on the news, my best friend's ex boyfriend ala the jerk died while jogging in army.

oh well.. as usual, i got all retrospective and stuff.. and i realise, i can never get as retrospective as i did when i was younger. maybe i did have more time to think then.. at least i was doing something useful then!! haha.. :P but boy, i got a shock when i read my sec 3 and 4 c&e workbook. never realise, i would write something so deep (supposedly). (!!) i was just appalled at my own mentality now. in a way that is.

its suddenly shallow.

anyway, during my friend's dad's wake, i was just pondering on my own dad's mortality. was recalling how close i was to losing my 24 xiao daddy. and i felt sad for my friend that he landed in sg 3 hrs late. he couldn't even say good bye to his dad. but thank God that his father is Christian and my friend seemed to be coping pretty well with the loss. i was at a loss at what to say.. really bad reacting to events like this..

Very thankful now. to be able to have supper with my daddy just now.

read from newspaper that babe's ex boyfriend suddenly died while jogging. life's really short and in this respect, unpredictable.. he's merely 1 year older than us. anyway, he was a jerky fellow. i wonder if i suddenly die.. what will happen.. i think the insurance payout is only $50,000. not enough for my family to last 3 years i think. so i can't go so fast..

:P