lost in transition in the process of moulting::

was just talking to jewel. she says i did in a way changed quite bit since secondary school. i used to be more accomodating towards ugly events and incidents, now i have stronger opinions on them and tend to be quite harsh when relating those incidents.
some people, especially those whom i'd just met recently may think that i may be bitchy and un-accomodating. since these attributes had only surfaced recently. :P and its a possibility that they're here to stay. *sees you running away*

4 years ago, if i hear such comments about myself, i would probably feel troubled, lose weight and spend the rest of the week in the toilet, trying to deal with all the shit.. hahaa.. but now, even if someone says that in my face, i don't give a shit. and i don't take intangible shit from anyone. and in return, its highly likely that they'll receive bird-flu-infested chicken head or some vulgarities courtesy of yours truly. of course lah, i won't do it like publicly. but rest assured that the same amount of shit you thrown at me, i'll make sure the shit grows some elasticity and it will rebounced back to you.

okay, enough of this shitty thing. let me just tell you bits of things i personally cannot stand. not that im not that this, im sure i have my irritating moments which is self activating. :O

people who justify themselves[via words].

this guy from school who did really well and all etc. but he's got this really sucky attitude which others would probably termed as 'dua kang'. at the end of the whole poly stint, he's got this award and upon interviewing him, he was like, oh, i didn't do well for psle cos i this and that, then i went to a lousy neighbourhood school, then unfortunately, i didn't do well again in sec sch and thus, i ended up in poly. finally, i got what i deserve.. and im like what?! what a load of bullshit. bad luck don't follow you consistently for 10 years loh. if you're good, you're good. if something bad happens to you, go through it, try again and don't screw things up again. prove yourself via actions. yes, you did it finally in school which is something which you're supposed to do since you're so rich and didn't have to work thus can afford to spend all your time studying. so don't rake up the past. its old use-it-to-wipe-your-ass news.

woah.. i know a few people who really did proved themselves and im really impressed with them. it may not be a really big thing that they'd achieved [but some of which, is REALLY big anyway], you can see their conviction, the efforts they put in. they're the ones who really DESERVE whatever they are enjoying now. people like bad guy, NYAA-HH etc. they're the ones who ultimately will do their family and friends proud.

so you shuddup.

self sacrificing people who later complain.

what's the point? if it makes you so uncomfortable...don't volunteer. or just continue to be unsung hero. don't complain. *rolls eyes*

insecure people who simply refuses to tell you what's wrong with them on pretext that you're their good friend.

i thought they're my good friends. im interested in your life and want to share your woes. and im certain that sharing that saddening aspect of your life will lessen your burden for after all joy is double and sorrow halved if shared with a friend. wassup with not wanting to tell me? you said you value your friends.. if you value your friends.. you won't subject them to this kinda worry. worry that you'll do something suicidal, worry for not being understanding enough to share your problem.

okay. just allow me this right to argh argh argh argh argh...!!!