sian - an sudden overwhelming state of restlessness for no reason whatsoever ::

it was a philosophical yet nuahey day.

i took a cab today and was talking to the taxi driver about life. humph, i suddenly realise i know why am i so not here and not there anymore, maybe I'd already realised it but you know, sometimes you need some in-your-face reminders.

you know, full time tutors in SG probably don't need to pay income tax and CPF. im suddenly quite tempted to be a full time tutor. but then again.. neh.. hahaha.. so scary, got to be RESPONSIBLE for their bad working attitude and lousy learning capabilities. okay lah.. im the one with bad working attitude and lousy learning abilities. hahha..

i quit my job, i supposed i'll have even more time to pursue whatever i want to do now.. i think precisely because i have all the time in the world to do whatever i want to do now, i feel kinda lost. erm, money aside that is. no, i didn't quit my job because of money. i quit my job cos

1. i can't stand it anymore when you have to be the dartboard for someone simply because they are pms-ing [read my company's a convent] - they say your monthly cycle will eventually synchronise to coincide with the people around you.. and when they do, its not a joking matter..[my company is around 40 strong i think]
2. programming is so not fun. *humph*
3. i want to help in daddy's buisness.
4. i want to have more time for my friends.
5. i want to have more time for myself maybe my family [been spending quite a lot of time with them].
6. i want to STUDY and take exams.
7. etc

but i will miss my boss, lady boss and one or two other staff. my boss and lady boss were so nice to me. give me my monthly pocket money [heh] and perpetual ration of titbits, motivate and inspire me. my boss even asked me to go back if i needed a part time job during school or vacation job. i guess its really God's grace.

i digress, but then again, if you're willing to work, i don't see how bad the economy is, how difficult to get a job. unless you want your starville, manhattan card, golf membership? or maybe i was so blessed that i don't even have to write any resume since graduation.

okay, that's besides the point. i went to tuition a bit sceptical about having studying more, and pressured about being the first child in my extended family to work. should i work instead of studying since after studying, you'll have to get back into the rat race again? humph. then again what's the rat race about? back to your starville, manhattan card and golf membership? hahaa...

argh, lose it lose it, its a good day to just sit around and listen to norah jones, penny dai and curl up with a good book or watch some melodrama.

so tired.

-don't have too much expectations on whatsoever. they'll let you down.